


Alone

by Jinx (jinx37kat)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-11-06
Updated: 2005-11-06
Packaged: 2018-09-16 12:05:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9269915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jinx37kat/pseuds/Jinx
Summary: For the first time in his entire life, Sam was truly alone.





	

**Author's Note:**

> First SPN fic I ever wrote... and, boy, does it ever show!! :)

Sam stood on the other side of the wall in the abandoned house, shotgun clasped tightly in his hand and held tightly against his chest. He could hear the creature on the other side of the wall, in the main room, screeching and screaming its anger and indignation.

He and Dean had come to this small Missouri town in hopes of finding their father. After several months of hunting, they finally had a clue as to their father’s whereabouts and it had brought them here. Unfortunately, once they had arrived, there was no sign of their dad, but there had been something in this town that their father would have investigated.

The creature reminded Sam of something that he’d seen on a science fiction television show recently. It was kind of misty with lots of tendrils floating around its main core. However, instead of it being white, it was the deepest, darkest, inkiest black, like tar just poured on the highway. And it was definitely not friendly, in any sense of the word. It was evil, pure and simple.

And now Sam was just on the other side of the wall, listening to the creature’s cries, wondering where in the hell his brother was.

He and Dean had separated after they had gotten their supplies from the trunk of the Impala. Dean had gone through the back and Sam had taken the front. Sam had hoped that Dean was on the other side of a back wall, listening to the creature’s demented screaming as Sam was in the front.

Taking several deep breaths, each one consistent with a count, Sam reached three before he whirled around the corner of the wall, gun pointing forward. He was all ready to shoot, but it was the sight before him that saved him from firing the gun.

Dean was suspended about two feet from the ground. The creature was half in and half out of Dean’s body. As Dean floated in mid-air, the black form looked like it was holding Dean up from the back, tendrils of inky shadow pulsed from Dean’s spine and head. There was a mass that sort of resembled a human head about three feet above Dean’s own head. It was the same area of the creature where the inhuman sounds emanated. Dean’s head was tilted backward has he hung limply over the floor.

Sam was struck speechless by the sight of his brother’s body. There didn’t seem to have any life in his brother and that scared him more than seeing the inhuman form floating in the room or hearing the screeches echoing off the walls.

He didn’t know what to do. The creature had his brother, possessing his body. If he took aim and shot, he would kill Dean. Sam was so caught up with his indecision that it took him a moment to realize that he was hearing Dean’s voice.

“Sammy.”

Sam looked up and noticed that Dean was now looking at him with part resignation and a lot of love. It was a look that replaced the fear he’d felt only moments before, scaring him to the very core of his being.

“Dean?”

“Kill it,” Dean said, voice soft from pain.

Sam’s eyes widened and he started to shake his head. “No, Dean, I can’t. It’s got you. I can’t without…”

“You have to, Sammy. Please.” 

Sam had never heard Dean beg that way before and he realized that he didn’t like it one bit.

Sam was still shaking his head, refusing to contemplate doing what his brother was requesting. “No, Dean. No.”

Dean’s head snapped up, as though the creature itself was pushing Dean’s head. Dean stared angrily at Sam for a split second, eyes blazing a green glow before dimming back to Dean’s original eyes.

“Sammy, please. You have to,” Dean pleaded.

Tears began to streak Sam’s cheeks as well as his voice as his fought his brother’s request. “No, Dean, please. I can’t. I’ll kill you!”

“I’m already dead,” Dean said quietly. And Sam knew in that instant that his brother was telling him the truth. If he didn’t shoot the creature, it would fully possess his brother and who knows what evil it would wreak. If he did kill the creature, well, he would be killing Dean in the process. But, the possession had pretty much already killed Dean. He was no more than a vessel for the creature at this point. With just enough humanity to beg his brother to do the right thing.

“Dean…” Sam cried, unending streams of tears cascading down his face. “Dean, please…” He’d just found his brother just a few months ago. He couldn’t loose him again. Not like this. “I c-can’t, D-d-dean, pl—“

“Sammy,” Dean’s soft voice interrupted him. Dean’s eyes bore into Sam’s, pleading, begging, imploring with everything he had left for his brother to kill the creature.

Sam could barely see Dean through the thickness of tears clouding his vision. He blinked furiously, wanting to see Dean as clearly as he could. “Dean.”

With that one word, a whole conversation between the Winchester brothers was heard and understood.

A small smile played at the corner of Dean’s mouth, curling a corner of his lips up infinitesimally. “I love you, baby brother.”

“I love you, too, big brother.”

And without taking his eyes from Dean’s, Sam brought the shot-gun up, aimed it at Dean’s chest, and pulled the trigger.

The creature hadn’t been prepared for the salt laced shot-pellets and it shrieked and screeched its anger and pain, dropping Dean’s lifeless body to the floor before exploding outward into millions of tiny ebony fragments, raining down and disappearing before they hit the ground.

Sam dropped the gun as Dean hit the floor and rushed over to his brother, instantly forgetting about the thing he’d just killed. He gently lifted Dean’s torso and cradled Dean’s head in the crook of his elbow, palming his cheek to look down into the peaceful features of his brother’s lax face.

“Dean?” Sam’s voice was weak and it cracked at the soft word. Tears clouded his vision once more and this time Sam let them flow. He didn’t want to bear witness to what he had just done. He didn’t want to be reminded that to save his brother, he had to kill him.

He dropped his head until his forehead touched Dean’s cool one. Tears dropped from his eyes to Dean’s, sliding down to wet Dean’s hair. He rocked his brother’s body, giving in to his grief that he was certain would consume him and kill him as well. But he didn’t care. Anything would be better than feeling this pain.

“Dean.” He said over and over again until his voice was choked with tears and hoarse with emotion. A few times, he felt Dean’s body sag in his grasp and he would renew his grip, lifting Dean to cradle against his chest as he sobbed his grief and agony over the loss of his brother.

He didn’t know how long he sat there, but a voice that was not his own finally bore its way into his consciousness.

“Sam. Sammy.”

Sam’s head snapped up and he blinked several times to clear his vision. Standing before him was Dean. But he looked different. There was a glow about him as though he were emanating his own light. And Sam realized he could see through him.

Dean’s spirit was still there.

“Dean?” Sam blinked through his tears, unable to comprehend what was going on. He could still feel the weight of Dean’s body in his arms, yet Dean was standing before him as though Sam hadn’t done the unthinkable and shot him moments before.

“Dean?”

Dean squatted down and stared at his little brother. “Sammy.” Sam watched as Dean reached out and laid his palm on the side of Sam’s face. Sam felt the warmth of Dean’s touch, but when he reached up with his own hand to hold Dean’s palm against his cheek, there was nothing there.

Sam’s confused eyes met Dean’s and he frowned. “Dean?”

“You have to let me go, Sam.”

Dean’s soft words were Sam’s undoing and tears welled up in his eyes and made it hard for Sam to see. He began shaking his head vehemently. “No.”

“Sam, please. You have to…”

“NO! Dean, please. You can’t leave me. You can’t go! Please Dean, please.” During Sam’s begging, he unconsciously pulled Dean’s lifeless body up and held it against his chest, rocking gently.

“Sammy,” Dean said tone indulgent. Sam still felt the warmth of Dean’s touch on his heated cheek and ached to press Dean’s palm into his face. But there was still nothing there when Sam reached up again. “Sam,” Dean’s voice brought Sam back to the here and now and Sam looked at his brother with red-rimmed eyes. “Sam, you have to let me go.”

Sam started shaking his head in earnest. “No.” He closed his eyes and bowed his head, resting his forehead against Dean’s once again. “No. Nonononono.”

“Sam,” Sam felt that warm touch again at his chin, gentle fingers lifting his head until Sam had no choice but to look into his brother’s eyes. “Ya know,” Dean said, brushing at Sam’s cheek as though trying to erase the tear tracks from Sam’s face. “I always knew that when I died, I would die alone. But you know what, Sammy?” Dean smiled a huge, brilliant, sincere smile. “You made sure that I didn’t. I didn’t die alone. I had you. I have you.”

“Dean…” Sam began, but didn’t really know what to say. He wanted to argue and beg Dean to come back, but even he knew that would be impossible at this point. It was too late.

“I love you, Sammy. And I’ll always be here when you need me.”

“I need you now, Dean. Please! You can’t go. I need you!”

Dean smiled sadly and shook his head as he stood up. “No you don’t, Sam. You never did.”

More tears than even Sam knew he could shed began another journey down his face. “Yes! I do, Dean. I do,” Sam dropped his head and pulled Dean’s body tighter against his chest. “I do. I do.” He looked up at Dean and begged for the millionth time. “Please. Dean.”

Dean smiled again and took a step back. “I love you, little brother. I’ll always be here for you. Don’t forget that.”

Sam watched in horror as Dean began fading away. “Dean!” Sam yelled, reaching out with one hand to the space where his brother was disappearing and cradling the body of his brother against his chest with the other. “Dean! No! Please! DEAN!!”

And just as suddenly, the room was shrouded in darkness once again; only the light from the moon coming in from the windows.

Sam looked down at Dean’s lifeless body cradled tenderly against his own chest. Sam was unable to hold back his sob and he howled the pain and ache in his chest against Dean’s hair, crying like he’d never cried before. Not with Jess. Not with anyone.

For the first time in his entire life, Sam was truly alone.

 

Finis  
November 6, 2005


End file.
